The Power of Positive Thinking

She is 91 years old. She has untreatable breast cancer. She has dementia. She has osteoporosis, tyroid and heart problems, among others. Yet my mom will be with us again this Mother’s Day. Despite the cancer. Despite all the other problems.

Fifteen months ago, when she was first diagnosed with cancer, mom’s doctor gave her less than a year. A few months later, he gave her less than six months. He put her on hospice care. But mom doesn’t know any of that. She’s blissfully unaware of her problems. Thank God for the dementia!

Mom has lived with us for the past 11 years. She’s been nothing but a joy. She never gives anyone any grief. She never complains and she’s always looking at the glass as being half-full. Every thing we do for her (which is mostly everything) receives a “thank you”. A glass of water, it’s “thank you”. A snack, it’s “thank you”. At breakfast, lunch, dinner, it’s “thank you”. At night it’s “thank you for everything you’ve done for me today”. Ask her how she’s doing … “I’m perfect, thank you”. And she believes it!

The hospice nurse comes once a week to take her vital signs. She asks mom how she’s feeling “fine, thank you”. Everything is fine. Never a problem. The nurse loves to visit her. She says mom is her best patient. No complaints, no issues, no fuss. Mom knows only that the nurse is here to check her, so she makes sure she’s ready and rolls up her sleeve for the blood pressure test. The patch on her breast is getting bigger and more difficult to manage. It gets packed every day but mom never questions why and for what. She just sits there like a good kid until it’s done and then she says “thank you”.

The other night she tells me “I’m a good child… I listen to and do everything I’m asked to do… I may not be a good mom, I can’t help you with anything, but I’m a good child!” And she is.

When the hospice aide gives her a meal, mom will first ask her if she ate and if she wants something to eat. Mom treats the aide like her own family. She doesn’t understand the relationship, but she appreciates her help and the attention. And, just like with everyone else it’s “thank you for this, thank you for that…”

Had it not been for her wonderful attitude, had it not been for her dementia, mom would never have made it this far. She’s less than 100 pounds now. She eats less and sleeps more. Her cancer is spreading but at a much slower rate than normal and than medical doctors anticipated. She has defied all odds and is still with us this Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day is May 8^th this year. This day marks 21 years since she became a widow. She doesn’t know it and she doesn’t need to. She’ll only know that it’s Mother’s Day and that the world is good to her. And she’s still here to enjoy it.

Submitted on May 1^st, 2005 by

Di Burok

Matawan, NJ